Appeasement

     While anyone may read this particular post, it is primarily intended for those who actually believe (faith producing obedience) as opposed to mental agreement or feelings, that the Bible is the Word of God- inspired, inerrant, and authoritative in every aspect of the life of a believer.
     For many years i have observed a very disturbing phenomenon in the Church in America. If it were a few isolated cases it would not be so concerning but i believe it to be quite widespread. The scenario is a Christian married couple in whose marriage the husband is regularly attempting to appease his wife. ( I recognize that the opposite also occurs but this does not seem to happen nearly as often.) By appeasement I mean that she really has a veto over whatever they do as a couple, and that the husband is trying very hard to satisfy her.
   Now I understand that Ephesians 5 teaches that the man is to love his wife and give himself for her as Christ gave Himself for the church. So I am not writing about a man who is trying his best to do this. The phenomenon that i observe is the wife, who oftentimes has been mistreated or abused as a child, taking that out on the husband. I agree that some husbands are abusive and none are perfect.  But many work very hard to bless their wives.
     I believe that the root of this is the cultural belief that men are responsible for all the evil in the world. For example, our current legal system is decisively prejudiced against the man in any divorce proceeding. Men are treated as ATM's. If they do not pay support they will be thrown in jail. The woman, who normally receives custody of the children, will not suffer the same punishment if she refuses to let the father see his children, no matter what legal agreements may mandate.
    What is really needed is something i refer to as spiritual open heart surgery in which a person ( man or woman) allows God to change their heart, to forgive as He forgave, and to receive healing and love from God Himself. "Hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has give  us." (Romans 5:5 ESV)