Some people need constant assurance in their relationships. They need regular affirmation that they are loved, that everything is o.k., that problems are being addressed etc. Today i was wondering why i don't need this. I believe this is because of the deeply rooted conviction and experience that God loves me personally. I did not always have this. In fact it took nearly forty years, and almost half of those as a Christian to begin to believe that God loved me. This was a gradual process fueled and founded on the Word of God. Today the Holy Spirit reminded me of Psalm 73: 25-26. "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. " Unfortunately this causes a problem. Because i don't need the ongoing affirmation from people, I fail to give it to those who do. They feel insecure and feel like i don't care about them. Usually i do like them but am not expressing this in a way that is relevant to them. Help me, God.
Last night i was invited to a 50th birthday party of a new friend. He had committed some sins in the past that had hurt his family. But both people in the church and family members had stood by him. God had changed him and it was heart warming to see the love that he received.
There is a brother in the church here who serves as a doctor in a poorer area. After the party he came over, quite late to the house where i am staying and removed all nine stitches from my little toe and right foot. This was not a fun process but necessary. When was the last time a doctor came to your house for free? A wonderful testimony of the love of God working through a person.
Probably will need more time for full movement as before but put on a shoe for the first time last night. Felt a little tight and can't walk normally yet.
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